Sunday, July 8, 2007

Parents disagree about kids going to gan

A request for suggestions and support from "disfunctional." I believe that this commenter does have an issue of shalom bayit, because the wife is dissatisfied with decisions the husband has made about raising the children.
Where does someone go if their problem is not so much overt shalom bayit.

in my situation, we send our kids to gan, husband learns and works, we get help from my in-laws. But i'm left pretty much useless. While I had hoped to spend these years raising the children, being a stay at home mom and all that goes with it... the fact that i needed some help here and there when the baby was a baby already deterred my husband from allowing me to have the kids at home. As time went on, my confidence wanned. Now I just sit at home. Me. A people person. I know this may not seem like a real problem, but try feeling useless -especially unfulfilled in the area you hoped to be fulfilled in-and you'd understand.

Its like for me everyone seems insensitive to help me -even myself!

I feel like i'm gently forced into the only option- work. Forget what I wanted work -not that i'm afraid of work. I was in corporate America for a long time. I just wanted to raise my children.

well, I hope to hear from somebody about this. Thank you.


Tamiri said...

Gan Issue: You are feeling useless. That is not anything any person wants to feel. While you can't change others, you CAN change yourself: decide here and now that you will no longer be useless. Whatever it takes. For example, since you are not going to be mothering your own kids during the day (I don't imagine taking them out of gan is any option), how about mothering someone else's child? For example, I know there are female volunteers needed to "mother" the orphan teen aged daughter of the Cohen-Or family. The daughter, Gitit, was the sole survivor of the horrible car crash where her parents were killed, leaving 8 orphans. Gitit is at Beit Levenstien in Raanana, and they are desperate for women who will talk to her, read to her etc., to hopefully ease her out of her coma (a few months now). Anyone who can give the time for something of this sort is certainly not useless... Depending on where you live, could this be an option for you?? Until you have your next little one IY'H and take the reins over your household once again?

Anonymous said...

does she know English?

Tamiri said...

המשפחה מארגנת משמרות של =
בנות בלבד (מעל גיל 18) שיכולות =
להגיע ולהשתבץ כל אחת לפי =
השעות והזמנים שיתאפשרו לה =
(אפילו 3 שעות ביום) בשעות =
הטיפול שהן מתשע בבוקר עד =
תשע בערב. אם הינך גרה בקרבת =
העיר רעננה או שאת יודעת של =
בנות שתהיה להן אפשרות =
להיות שותפות למעשה חסד הזה =
תבורכי מפי עליון!

עופרה היא דודה של גיתית =
והיא מארגנת את עניין =
המשמרות. זה מספר הפלאפון =
שלה- 0524414408.

אנו ממליצים בשעת הטיפול =
להקריא לה סיפור, לדבר איתה =
לטייל איתה וכך בע"ה נגרה את =
חושיה הרדומים להתעורר מחדש =
לתפקוד! זוהי תקוותינו =
היחידה ותקוות בית החולים.

בדמעות אני פונה אליכן בנות =
ונשות ישראל, ה' שומע לשוועתם =
של יתומי ישראל בצורה =
מיוחדת ולא רגילה, קל וחומר =
אנו, בני עמו, בשר ודם איך לא =
נשמע לשוועתם של 8 היתומים?!

אנא הפיצו מייל זה בכל בתי =
ישראל ובע"ה עוד נזכה לראות =
את תחיה גיתית ביופיה =
ותפארתה כמו בימים ההם. רק =
טוב ובשורות משמחות לכולנו.

Anonymous said...

I'm getting ready to sell my house. I figure it will take until the kids graduate from high school, LOL.

muse said...

It is an important issue.
Try to make special plans each week, one kid at a time, one day at a time and keep them one at a time with you.
L'at l'at, gradually.